Misbah has done her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology. She has access to a wide range of mental health professionals who treat mental illness.
I have suffered greatly as a result of the loss of two dear ones in the short period of eight months. I believe that the journey of grief is an endless one because you never know when a single act of someone, a movie scene, a photograph, a text message, or anything else might transport you back in time and make you feel lost and lonely.
You can, however, overcome grief. I won't say you'll forget everything all at once, but this article will help you because it's based on my own experience and research. Time heals all wounds, and the beauty of time is that it grabs your hand and forces you to walk with it even when you are not ready.
Grief is the emotional journey we go through when we experience a great loss in our lives. Being confronted with the reality of a loss is an agonizing experience, whether it is a separation or the death of a loved one.
In the case of death, we also have to deal with the realization that this person is no longer in physical space, on earth, but rather in the emotional realm, in memories and the imprint they have left on us, in our way of being, looking and living.
It is normal to have conflicting feelings during this process and sometimes even feel as if we have lost our minds. Questions often arise such as, "Is what I am feeling normal?" "What is happening to me?"
But what exactly is normal? The definition of "normal" varies from person to person. In this article, we will talk about feelings or events that occur during grief that are completely normal.
Is It Natural to Experience Strange Feelings During a Period of Grief?
Yes, it is natural to feel "strange" feelings during a period of mourning. It is normal; most likely because what you are experiencing is a grieving process, and as long as the grief does not become pathological, it is completely natural. And by "normal" we mean "natural, legitimate, appropriate to the state of loss, valid and undeniable." Describe it however you want, but remember: "normal" or not, if you feel that way, it's okay, even if it hurts a lot sometimes.
In this article, we'll discuss things that are normal to feel during the grieving process, even if we don't always understand them. Some things may initially surprise or shock us, but they are normal and thus deserve to be accepted and acknowledged.
1: Feeling Their Presence Around You
The feeling of the presence of someone who is no longer alive is a common experience in grief (especially at the beginning period of grief, although in some cases it is possible to experience this feeling even years later). We may feel that this person is nearby, that he or she surrounds us, speaks to us, or even protects us. This is especially true for those who have played an important role in our lives, with whom we have felt comfortable and safe, who have believed in us, and we had a good connection with them.
Accepting the death of a loved one is a difficult fight that must be fought within.
When we are in the midst of this battle, and we are aware of the truth of our loss, we frequently feel as if we are out in the open, with no one to care for and protect us. In this scenario, our brain creates a physical and emotional yearning to continue experiencing (or seeing) that person.
According to Maria Ramos, a grief therapist, we can sense and listen to our lost loved ones, and their words are significant because they help us understand who we are (and who we have been with them). There are some things that death cannot touch, such as connections, the presence of the other, and love beyond time and death itself.
During the process of mourning, euphoria is also normal. It amazes and surprises us because these euphoric moments can be quite disturbing. These are difficult moments to deal with because this euphoria is not a “feeling of joy”, but a feeling of overflowing emotional intensity, loss of control over feelings, hyperactivity, anxiety, or impulsive actions. Laughing in inappropriate situations, for example, or hasty thinking. Feeling the need to take risks.
All these “highs” are merely self-regulated emotions, they can even be a way for our mind to isolate itself and run away from suffering.
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3: Being Afraid of the Future Is Natural in the Grieving Process
Fear of what is to come is a natural symptom of grief. It is because we are afraid of reliving what has caused us pain before. Our mind puts itself on alert mode. The fact that we have lost someone we cared about (especially if it was unexpected) teaches us that terrible things can happen to anyone, at any time.
From this comes the fear of the future: fear of what might come next, fear of the unexpected, fear of the unknown. Always remember that all emotions have a purpose; embrace your fear, tell it you understand it, and make room for it to leave when it is the time.
4: Impatience or Irritability
Another natural side effect of grief is the loss of patience. This is often a result of the physical and emotional fatigue caused by the grieving process. Without the energy we used to have before, we find it difficult to deal with some circumstances calmly and tolerantly. It happens because we have reached our limits and things no longer touch us the same way.
The same goes for irritability; things affect us more because we become more sensitive as a result of dealing with the suffering of our loss. So, if you're grieving and find yourself in such a situation, consider it a normal part of the mourning process.
5: Feeling Exhausted
Another typical sign of mourning is exhaustion, both physical and emotional. Remember that you are devoting all of your energy (physical, cognitive, and emotional) to coping with this painful loss right now.
You're striving to reorganize and adjust to a new reality without this person. Of course, you're exhausted! That is why, even though it is tough for you right now, you mustn't ask for more than you need. Be aware of your fragility, and, above all, take care of yourself (sleeping habits, diet, etc.). You deserve to be taken care of.
How to Deal With the Emotions or Situations That Occur During Grief?
I understand that every situation and every person in our life is valuable, and the person you lost was a world to you. Remember that you know yourself better than anyone else and that you will find out what you need along the way. If you do not want to walk this path alone or if the situation overwhelms you, ask for help! Ask family members and friends for help, but also mental health professionals if you feel it is necessary. You can also consult a grief specialist.
I understand that every situation and every person is unique. Now we will discuss some general ideas that can help anyone going through a grieving process:
- Accept all these things you don't understand (maybe the answers will come later).
- Respect your rhythm and the moments when you need solitude.
- Surround yourself with people who contribute to you and avoid isolating yourself all the time.
- Accept and respect your feelings.
- Take good care of yourself because you are important too. Try to rest, drink plenty of water, sleep well, go for a walk, take proper care of your diet, etc.
- Don't put too much pressure on yourself; maybe it's not the right time to do so.
- Try to do some sports if you feel up to it, or at least try to go for a walk in the morning and evening (nature is beautiful and can help to comfort us in such cases).
- Change your location if possible. Visit a nearby city with someone you trust, such as a friend or family member.
- It is important to cry. No matter how strong we are, never hold back your tears and allow them to flow as freely as you want.
- Finally and most importantly, ask for help when you feel you need it.
You now know all of the feelings or situations that can occur during the time of grieving and are entirely natural. So if you're grieving, it's time to take action and face them at your speed, taking into account all we've discussed in this article.
I hope everything works out well for you and you find peace and happiness. Finally, keep in mind that we all have to leave this world one day; no one comes here to live forever. So make the most of your brief existence. Smile and share happiness, and try to help those who are in need. Life is too short to end in hatred and bitterness. Be happy and make your surroundings peaceful. At the end of the day, remember that you make a difference in the world, and your actions have an impact.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2022 Misbah Sheikh